In I Can't Believe I Just Did That, David Allyn reveals how the feelings of confusion and self-doubt associated with embarrassment can powerfully affect the overall quality of your life. With a complete program for identifying and managing embarrassment and repairing the harm it can inflict, Allyn's book will teach you how to:Decipher the underlying fears of embarrassment that are holding you back.Admit to others when embarrassment leads you to behave in a way that you didn't intend.Find the courage to say what you really think.Manage the emotions associated with embarrassment as you are experiencing them so that you can get to the heart of what is actually going on in any given situation.Gain the confidence to be free of embarrassment in every area of your life.

You blush, your throat tightens, your mind races, and all you want to do is run away and hide. You're not quite sure what's happening, but one thingis certain: You want it to end. So it's no surprise that when it comes to asking for a raise, inviting someone to dinner, or just saying what you think in a difficult situation,a quietly lurking fear of embarrassment can undermine your ability to get the job done effectively. In I Can't Believe I Just Did That,social scientist David Allyn examines the subtly damaging effects of embarrassment on our personal and professional relationships-and presents powerful advice for identifying and managing this all-too-common emotion.

In this insightful and thought-provoldng book, Allyn draws on extensive research in psychology and the social sciences, as well as the real-life experiences of people from all walks of life, to illustrate the impact of embarrassment on our day-to-day encounters. He shows how the fear of embarrassment can creep up at the strangest times-in the checkout line at the supermarket, say, or in a seemingly insignificant exchange with a co-worker-and affect the ability to communicate clearly and produce the results people are after.

Introduction: The Magic of Achievement / vii

PART I' Spirals of Shame

1. Image Control / 3

2. The Perils of Pulling In / 24

Seven Secrets to Avoiding Shame-Inducing Situations / 42

3. The Trouble with Trumping Up the Truth / 51

4. The Liabilities of Lashing Out / 68

PART II: Spirals of Success

5. Beyond Image Control: The Art and Science of

Self En-Couragement / 87

6. Work: Turning Awkwardness into Excellence / 120

En-Couraging Yourself/145

7. Family: From Guilt to Good Feelings / 159

8. Dating: En-Couraging Real Romance / 169

9. Relationships: Resparking the Spiral of Intimacy / 189

What to Do When It Seems Too Late to Do Anything / 206

10. Parenthood: Raising Courageous Kids / 214

PART III: Conclusion

The Craft of Living Courageously / 225

Resources/233

Notes/235

Glossary of Terms / 246

Acknowledgments / 249

Index / 251