The author reads various articles he's written for "smart" publications that amusingly record his observations of cultural ephemera. A specialist in inconsequence, he writes glibly about the passing scene in clever phrases. This volume includes profiles of celebrities, opinion pieces, and a smattering of short fiction. His vocal skill is less felicitous than his writing. On the positive side, he adopts a light, chatty tone and a brisk pace that nicely complement his text. He does have some flair as a raconteur. But his scratchy voice grates on this reviewer's nerves, as does his sloppy diction and air of in-crowd smugness.

THINGS THAT ARE TRUE

Southern-Fried Sex Kitten

 Bending Spoons with Britney Spears

(This Happened in) October

 Mysterious Days

Call me "Lizard King." No... really. I insist.

 Crazy Things Seem Normal, Normal Things Seem Crazy

1,400 Mexican Moz Fans Can't Be (Totally) Wrong

 Viva Morrleeey!

Chomp Chomp

 The Amazing McNugget Diet

 McDiculous

My Second-Favorite Canadian

 The Karl Marx of the Hardwood

Deep Blue Something

 That '70s Cruise

"Deep Sabbath"

 In the Beginning, There Was Zoso

 Not a Whole Lotta Love

Disposable Heroes

 Band on the Couch

Unbuttoning the Hardest Button to Button

 Garage Days Unvisited

The Ice Planet Goth

 Something Wicked This Way Comes

Fitter, Happier

 No More Knives

The American Radiohead

 Ghost Story

Bowling for the Future (and Possibly Horse Carcasses)

 Local Clairvoyants Split Over Future

But I Still Think "All for Leyna" Is Awesome

 The Stranger

Debriefing Agent Zero

 Gummi Bear All-American

Someone Like You

 Dude Rocks Like a Lady

Taking The Streets to the Music

 Untitled Geezer Profile

Five Interesting Corpses

 The Ratt Trap

 How Real Is Real?

 The Tenth Beetle

 Here's "Johnny"

Fargo Rock City, for Real

 To Be Scene, or Not to Be Seen

THINGS THAT MIGHT BE TRUE

The Two Motives Hypothetical

 Bonds vs. America

The Grizzly Hypothetical

 Nemesis

The Transformation Hypothetical

 Advancement

The Unknown Companion Hypothetical

 I Do Not Hate the Olympics

The Dress Code Hypothetical

 Three Stories Involving Pants

The Court of Public Opinion Hypothetical

 Don't Look Back in Anger

The Brain Pill Hypothetical

 Not Guilty

The Life Plagiarist Hypothetical

 Cultural Betrayal

The Universal Morality Hypothetical

 Monogamy

The Joe Six-Pack Hypothetical

 Certain Rock BandsYou Probably Like

The Hitler Theft Hypothetical

 Pirates

The Robot War Hypothetical

 Robots

The Cannibal's Quandary

 Super People

The Future Prediction Quandary

 Chaos

The Desert Island Hypothetical

 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

The Telekinetic Hypothetical

 Pong x Infinity

The Stereotypical Jesus Hypothetical

 I Wanna Get Free

The Apocalypse Hypothetical "

 Television

The General Tso's Hypothetical

 Singularity

SOMETHING THAT ISN'T TRUE AT ALL

You Tell Me

Acknowledgments

Index